Starting Off Small

I’m starting off small. In the past I’ve started blogs and never continued with them because I put too much pressure on myself to begin with. Right now I have a lot of free time, not a lot of friends, and a heartache.

Going forward I know I’m going to use this blog almost like a diary. I’m going to write the things I daren’t say to real life people for fear of their judgement. I fully appreciate every day I am blessed with. I know that regardless of my situation I can never predict what is coming next so I must be happy with what I have, and I am. However, a couple of experiences have dampened my mood. This is my way of working through those.

“Regardless of my transient joys, I am never free of a feeling of melancholy which somehow forms the base of my heart.” – Chopin

They are the most perfect words to describe how I feel, written by the most wonderful composer there ever was. There are days where I am definitely happy. As a matter of fact, sometimes my happiness is unparalleled. My friends, family, dog, even TV shows and books all contribute, but it still doesn’t escape the fact that I know under the surface I am a little down.

Do not believe that for one moment that I will only document my gloominess on this platform. No. I will divulge the reasons for my melancholy in between the daily doses of happiness that I am granted. My life is half-glass full as opposed to half empty, but I know there are things I must work on to be truly content with my life right now.

I hope you can appreciate my mental place and that maybe you will feel a little better knowing you’re not alone.

Eloise

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